If you’ve been arrested for a domestic violence offense in Connecticut, one of the first things that will happen is a referral to Family Relations. Many of my clients are surprised by this — they expect to see a judge, not sit down with a Family Relations Officer. Then the questions start pouring in: Should I tell my side of the story? Should I bring texts that prove my innocence? Should I have my mother or partner come with me?
These are important questions because what happens in Family Relations can shape the rest of your case. I’ve guided hundreds of clients through this process over 30 years of defending domestic violence charges. My role is to make sure you don’t make early mistakes that make your case harder to resolve.
What Is Family Relations?
Family Relations is a division of the Connecticut Judicial Branch staffed by Family Relations Officers. In domestic violence cases, they:
- Screen cases to assess the risk of future violence.
- Interview both parties — the accused and, often, the complaining witness.
- Recommend to the prosecutor and judge: protective orders, release conditions, and whether programs like the Family Violence Education Program (FVEP) are appropriate.
Family Relations Officers are not prosecutors or judges; they don’t decide guilt or innocence. But their recommendations carry enormous weight. Judges often follow their advice when deciding whether you can return home, contact your children, or communicate with the alleged victim.
What Happens During a Family Relations Interview
- Timing: Usually, before your first court appearance, often the morning after your arrest.
- Setting: A small office or conference room at the courthouse.
- Participants: You and the Family Relations Officer (the complaining witness is typically seen separately).
- Questions: Your relationship, the events leading up to the arrest, criminal history, substance use, and whether children were present.
Important: What you say is not confidential. Anything you disclose may be relayed to the prosecutor and referenced in court. Be careful and strategic.
Can You Bring Evidence to Family Relations?
Many clients ask whether to bring texts, emails, or photos that they believe prove the accusations are exaggerated or false. You can, but it’s rarely wise without legal guidance.
- It’s not a trial: Family Relations isn’t deciding guilt or innocence. Stacks of “proof” often fall on deaf ears.
- Risk of backfire: If you hand over your phone or screenshots, they may see unrelated information that hurts your case. Once it’s out, you can’t take it back.
- Better approach: Review evidence with your lawyer first. If it helps, your lawyer will choose the right time and forum to introduce it — usually during negotiations with the prosecutor, not during the initial interview.
Example Scenario
A client brought dozens of texts showing his partner repeatedly invited him over — contradicting her claim that he violated a no-contact request. Unfortunately, the same texts also showed heated arguments and alcohol use, which Family Relations flagged as risk factors. What could have helped instead of justified stricter conditions.
Can You Bring Witnesses to Family Relations?
The short answer: no. You cannot bring live witnesses into a Family Relations interview.
- Not allowed: Friends, family members, or neighbors cannot sit in to vouch for you.
- Possible outreach: Family Relations may independently contact others if they think it’s necessary.
- When witnesses matter: Testimony becomes important later — in motions, hearings, or trial — not at this early administrative step.
This surprises many clients who want a mother, spouse, or roommate to “set the record straight.” The interview is a one-on-one evaluation.
The Role of Protective Orders
One of the main outcomes of Family Relations is a protective order recommendation. The three common types are:
- Full No Contact: No communication of any kind.
- Residential Stay-Away: Contact allowed, but you cannot live together.
- Partial: Contact allowed, but no threats, abuse, or harassment.
Judges often adopt Family Relations’ recommendation, which is why caution in your interview is critical.
Why Legal Guidance Is Critical
This stage may feel informal — “just a chat” — but it’s anything but casual. Mistakes here can lock you into harsh protective orders for months.
- Nothing is confidential: Notes can be reviewed by prosecutors.
- Evidence can cut both ways: What looks like proof to you may look like risk to them.
- Witnesses won’t be admitted: Bringing people to the interview only leads to frustration.
I tell clients all the time: sometimes less is more. A polite, limited statement — guided by counsel — is safer than oversharing or handing over unvetted evidence.
Defense Strategies for Family Relations
Over the years, I’ve developed strategies that consistently help clients navigate Family Relations safely:
- Prep the client: We rehearse likely questions and how to answer truthfully but carefully.
- Control the evidence: Only share documents your lawyer has cleared. Never hand over your phone.
- Shape the narrative: Emphasize stability, employment, therapy, or steps you’ve already taken.
- Follow up in court: Use motions and negotiations — not Family Relations — to introduce your strongest evidence.
Frequently Asked Questions
- Can the Family Relations Officer drop my charges?
No. They only make recommendations to the prosecutor and judge about release conditions and protective orders. - Should I bring texts or emails that prove my innocence?
Be cautious. Once you share texts, they may notice details that hurt more than help. Let your lawyer decide when and how to use them. - Can I refuse to participate in Family Relations?
Yes, but refusal often leads to the strictest protective order (usually full no-contact). Most clients participate minimally with guidance. - Can I bring a witness with me to Family Relations?
No. Witnesses do not take part in the interview. If witness statements help, your lawyer can present them later in court. - Is Family Relations on my side?
They are neutral in theory but cautious in practice. Their job is risk assessment, which can lean toward stricter conditions. - Will the victim be interviewed, too?
Usually yes, and separately. Conflicting accounts may lead to stricter recommendations. - Can my lawyer be present during Family Relations?
Yes — and in most cases, you should have your lawyer with you. At a minimum, speak to your lawyer beforehand. - How long does the Family Relations process take?
The interview is typically 15–30 minutes, but the recommendations can impact your life for months. - Can Family Relations recommend programs like counseling?
Yes. They often suggest anger management, substance treatment, or therapy. Compliance can positively influence your case outcome. - What if the Officer misrepresents what I said?
It happens. Another reason to limit what you share. If something damaging appears in the notes, your lawyer can challenge it later.
Conclusion: Protect Yourself from the Start
Family Relations is one of the most misunderstood steps in Connecticut domestic violence cases. It feels informal, but it shapes protective orders, living arrangements, and the tone of the prosecution.
- You cannot bring witnesses.
- Be very cautious about bringing evidence.
- Nothing you say is confidential.
With the right guidance, you can avoid pitfalls and position your case for the best possible resolution.
📞 If you’ve been arrested for domestic violence in Connecticut, call me, Allan F. Friedman, Criminal Lawyer, at (203) 357-5555 or on my contact page for a free consultation. I’ll walk you through every step of Family Relations and fight to protect your rights, your home, and your future.