Connecticut Criminal Lawyer Blog
Why ‘Primary Aggressor’ Laws Don’t Always Protect the Real Victim — and How to Fix It in Court
Introduction
It’s one of the most heartbreaking calls I get as a Connecticut criminal defense lawyer:
A husband, wife, or partner is sitting in jail, terrified and confused — because they were the one who called 911 for help, yet they ended up arrested.
It happens more often than you think. Despite reforms to stop “dual arrests,” many innocent people still find themselves facing domestic violence charges when they were actually the victim. The good news is that with experienced legal guidance, these mistakes can be corrected — and your record can be cleared.
The Problem: When Police Arrest the Wrong Person
For decades, Connecticut had one of the highest dual arrest rates in the nation. That meant when police responded to a domestic disturbance, they often arrested both people involved — even if one was just defending themselves or calling for help.
In 2019, the legislature passed a major reform to fix this. Under C.G.S. § 46b-38b, police are now required to identify the primary aggressor — the person most responsible for the violence — and avoid arresting the other party.
This change was supposed to stop victims from being wrongly charged.
But in practice, things don’t always go as intended.
Why Innocent People Still Get Arrested
Even with the new law, police officers often make quick judgments under stressful conditions. Common reasons I see innocent clients arrested include:
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Conflicting statements: Both parties accuse each other, and officers can’t immediately tell who’s telling the truth.
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Visible injuries on both sides: If each person has marks or scratches, police may assume mutual aggression.
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Anger or panic at the scene: A frightened victim may appear “combative” or emotional, leading police to misread the situation.
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Retaliatory accusations: Abusers often make false counterclaims to manipulate the process.
Once handcuffs go on, the system treats the accused as the offender — even if the facts later prove otherwise.
How Domestic Violence Arrests Work in Connecticut
Every domestic violence arrest triggers a next-day arraignment in court. You’ll meet a Family Relations Officer, who screens the case for safety concerns and may recommend temporary protective orders.
From there, the court can impose one of several types of protective orders, ranging from limited contact to full no-contact restrictions. These orders go into effect immediately and can impact:
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Housing
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Employment
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Family life
Even if you were wrongly arrested, these restrictions remain until your lawyer presents evidence and convinces the court to lift or modify them.
The Role of the Family Violence Education Program (FVEP)
Because most domestic violence charges are family-violence designated, even misdemeanors like:
require participation in the Family Violence Education Program (FVEP) before dismissal.
For someone falsely accused, this can feel deeply unfair — but in many cases, completing the FVEP is the fastest way to get your charges erased and your record clean.
As I often tell clients:
“It’s not about guilt or innocence — it’s about getting your life back.”
Why the Law Is So Strict in Connecticut
Connecticut’s strict domestic violence policies were born out of tragedy — specifically, the Tracey Thurman case in Torrington during the 1980s.
Tracey Thurman repeatedly begged police to protect her from her abusive, estranged husband. Despite multiple restraining orders and clear warnings, officers failed to intervene. In 1983, he brutally stabbed her 13 times and broke her neck while police stood by watching.
Thurman survived — and later sued the City of Torrington in federal court, winning a groundbreaking civil rights case.
Her courage led to the creation of the Family Violence Prevention and Response Act of 1986, which established Connecticut’s mandatory arrest policy in domestic violence cases.
The intention was good: to make sure police never again ignored a victim’s plea for help.
But decades later, this same zero-tolerance approach sometimes leads to innocent people being arrested when officers can’t immediately determine who the real aggressor is.
Real-World Example
A Stamford woman called 911 after her boyfriend grabbed her arm during an argument. She tried to pull away and accidentally scratched him. When police arrived, they saw the scratch and heard his story, then arrested him.
We obtained security camera footage and phone texts showing she was the one asking him to leave peacefully. Within weeks, the case was dismissed, and she completed FVEP to seal the record.
This happens every day — but it can be fixed with strong advocacy and the right approach.
Next Steps After a Wrongful Arrest
If you’ve been charged with a domestic violence offense in Connecticut:
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Don’t contact the accuser until your lawyer clears it — even if you just want to explain.
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Go to every court date. Missing even one can result in a re-arrest warrant.
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Document everything — screenshots, messages, and injuries.
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Follow your lawyer’s guidance about programs or defense strategy.
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Stay calm — most first-time DV cases can be dismissed with proper representation.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. Can I still be charged even if the other person started it?
Yes. Police often arrest whoever they believe caused the injury, even if you were defending yourself. Your lawyer can present evidence showing you were not the primary aggressor.
2. Will my case be treated as domestic violence if it were a family member?
Yes. Any altercation involving family, romantic partners, or people who live together is automatically labeled as a family violence case.
3. What happens the day after I’m arrested?
You must appear in court for arraignment. A judge will review your case and decide whether to issue or modify a protective order.
4. Can the victim drop the charges?
No. Only the prosecutor and court can dismiss charges — even if the accuser wants them dropped.
5. What is the Family Violence Education Program (FVEP)?
It’s a diversionary program that can lead to dismissal and erasure of your case after successful completion.
6. Will a domestic violence arrest show up on a background check?
Yes, until it’s dismissed and erased. That’s why completing your program or achieving a quick dismissal is critical.
7. Can I return home while the case is pending?
Only if the judge modifies your protective order to allow contact. Your lawyer must file a formal motion for this.
8. Will I lose my gun permit?
Yes, temporarily. Any domestic violence arrest or protective order requires surrendering firearms and permits. They can often be reinstated after dismissal.
9. How long does FVEP last?
Typically 9–12 weekly sessions. Upon successful completion, your case can be dismissed after a one-year probationary period.
10. How soon can my record be erased?
Once your case is dismissed, the Judicial Branch automatically erases it after the retention period — but your lawyer can verify that it’s been fully cleared from all databases.
Conclusion
If you’ve been wrongly arrested in a Connecticut domestic violence case, don’t panic — and don’t try to fix it on your own. The process can feel one-sided and overwhelming, but there are clear legal paths to set the record straight.
With over 30 years of experience defending good people caught in bad situations, I know how to uncover the truth, protect your rights, and get your life back on track.
Call to Action
If you’ve been charged with a domestic violence offense — especially if you were the one who called for help — contact Allan F. Friedman, Criminal Lawyer, today at (203) 357-5555 for a free consultation.
You can also reach us through our contact page or learn more on our Domestic Violence Defense page.
