Why ‘Primary Aggressor’ Laws Don’t Always Protect the Real Victim — and How to Fix It in Court

Introduction

It’s one of the most heartbreaking calls I get as a Connecticut criminal defense lawyer:

Why the First Hours After an Arrest Matter More than You Think

When the police knock on the door or flash their lights in the rearview mirror, life can go from normal to upside down in seconds. I’ve seen it countless times over the years: good people with careers, families, and reputations suddenly find themselves cuffed, booked, and overwhelmed with fear. The first reaction is almost always the same — panic. Thoughts race: Am I going to jail? Will I lose my license? How will this affect my job or my family?

That panic is human. But it’s also where mistakes happen. Talking too much to the police, signing something you don’t understand, or missing a critical court deadline can make the situation far worse.

Why Social Media Can Ruin Your Case Before It Even Begins

One of the first things police and prosecutors look at after an arrest is your social media. Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, and even text screenshots now appear in nearly every Connecticut criminal case.

Many of my clients never imagined that a simple post, photo, or comment could be used against them as evidence. In reality, I’ve seen prosecutors use posts made in frustration, jokes taken out of context, or old photos to convince judges and juries that someone is guilty or dangerous.

Accused of Harassment Over Text Messages?  Here’s what it means.

Most people accused of harassment by text aren’t “criminals.” They’re regular people caught in an emotional moment — after a breakup, during a stressful custody dispute, or on a night when anxiety boiled over. I tell clients this all the time: you are not alone, and this one incident does not define you. There are defenses, and there are ways to protect your record.

The Law in Plain English

The Fear That Goes Beyond Court

A domestic violence arrest in Connecticut can shake your entire world in an instant. One moment you’re at home, maybe in the middle of an argument. Next, the police are at your door, and suddenly you’re in handcuffs, facing charges you never imagined.

The shock of that moment is overwhelming — but for many of my clients, the fear doesn’t stop there. Beyond court dates, bond conditions, and protective orders, there’s a bigger question looming: “Am I going to lose my career over this?”